Yeah, we're the a#%holes who don't have a television

(Mommy, we're watching "TV")


Before we had kids, my husband and I watched TV sometimes...not every day, but maybe we would watch the last few episodes of American Idol, or the latest Thing Everyone Watches.  We weren't addicts, but it wasn't a huge part of our life. After we had kids, I decided, since I had quit my job to stay at home, that I wanted to do it right. So, amongst other things, I followed the American Academy of Pediatrics recommendation that children not have any screen time before the age of 2. When A was a newborn, I watched Oprah in the afternoon (hours of my life I will never get back), thinking that she probably couldn't see what was going on.  Then, when she was six months old or so and started to pay attention to the screen, I turned it off.


Until one day.


I was putting on A's snowsuit and she was fighting it. Wouldn't put her legs in, wouldn't keep her arms in, being a real pain. And I live in a city where a snowsuit is a necessity for at least 4 months out of the year.  So I turned on the TV, just to keep her immobile for the few minutes I needed to get that hateful thing on her. This worked extremely well, and kept on working for a few weeks until she started having a total meltdown when it was time to leave the house, and , more importantly, turn the TV OFF. It had started out well, but I was essentially trading one meltdown for another. 


So we got rid of the TV. There wasn't really time for US to watch it anymore, and I wanted to remove any temptation for me to use it as an electronic babysitter.  We had a computer we could watch DVDs on, and stream news if it was really important to watch what was happening in the world, but mostly we just spent less time watching stuff.


And we kept it that way. When the kids were 2 and 4 I realized that I was ok with introducing limited screen time, and that it might even be a good idea so that it didn't seem like forbidden fruit; I didn't monitor whether they watched TV at their friends' houses, and I didn't want them to think they were missing out. So, in the winter, we watched a movie or two.  Maybe a couple every month, movies that chris and I would enjoy as well, classics like The Sound of Music, or even Disney movies like Toy Story. Because it was a rare occurrence, we could afford to be choosey, although what bothers me about screen time is less the content, and more that it's a completely uncreative and unphysical way to spend one's time. 


We never missed the TV; sometimes when they were little it would have been nice to just put something on and have them be immobile for a little bit, but since it wasn't there, it wasn't an option. As they got older they played by themselves more, and they are really good at amusing themselves for hours without my interference. I've come to think of it as an investment that I made that has paid off immensely. Screen time is just not part of their daily lives.


Of course, I have no idea what I'm going to do in the future, when they'll want their own computers and they'll be watching stuff I don't even know about. I'd like to think that maybe  they'll be writing and drawing rather than just being an audience, but I know that I won't have any control over that. 
But at the very least, I never had to spend one minute listening to Dora.



(if you are not familiar with Louis CK's level of offensiveness, do not watch this)
-Tal

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About Cab

I live on an island near a big city in the Pacific Northwest. I am new mother to a ten month old but I also parent an awful dog, and I take eggs from seven hardworking hens. I work part time for teenagers who need a lot of help. In my free time, I fantasize about cleaning and uncluttering.

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The FIVE things I want to share with you about pumping

The FIVE things I want to share with you about pumping...(sign courtesy of a dear colleague who felt I needed this after having been walked in on twice in one week).


In almost a month I will pack up my breast pump. My daughter, T, will be one years old. And I hate to admit this, but aside from the cake, there is nothing about her birthday I am looking more forward to than the cessation of all pumping.


I hate pumping. And I really am not even in a position to complain. I only work 3x a week, and I am in the most ideal job to pump. I have my own office, and I basically can set my own schedule. And my boss was pumping when I returned to work and pumped until her son turned one as well. For mothers who pump and teach, or even worse--pump and waitress, or even more unbelievable--pump and work in the fast food industry--I give you a standing ovation. Standing on the chair. On the top of the highest building.


I have no complaints about my actual pump, the Medela Pump in Style. Although I spent days researching the "right pump," if I were efficient the research could have been done in a couple minutes. I think there are only 2 companies that make breast pumps. (If men had to pump, there would be hundreds of manufacturers, test pumping locations, and there would be superbowl ads dedicated to their sales. Also, they would have attachments that served beer, and might even include reclining chairs and footstools. As they are a solely female need, two companies barely compete for the market share and the pump comes in a purse. or backpack.)


As I have spent considerable hours pumping, I wanted to reflect on all that I have learned from this experience.  But I can't say there is much to write.  Instead, here are just five basic things I'd like to share about pumping.


1. Don't count ounces, just go with the flow....
When I started pumping my husband and I made a graph where I would input how many ounces I was producing and he would input how much my daughter was eating. It was to motivate me and my breasts. Instead it caused a lot of stress.


2. Old breastmilk smells bad especially in an office with no windows.
As hard as I tried, I could never remove my pump parts without inevitably splashing one or two drops of breastmilk on my office carpet. Dozens of pumping sessions and months later, I fear my office smells like a warehouse of sour milk. I think I am going to need to rent a steam cleaner when this is all done. Yuck.


3. Pumping in bathrooms is the worst. Pumping in the Loehmann's Department Store is slightly better. During a trip to NYC without T I had to find a pumping spot somewhere near Central Park. I considered pumping in the park but it was just too cold. I dropped into Loehmann's and just asked a male sales clerk if I could pump in a dressing room. Unbelievably he responded, "of course!" And set me up in a room and told all the people waiting to be patient. I was so touched. If I hadn't lost my wallet on the trip, I would have bought a nice new purse to support this establishment. Alas, that purchase could not happen. Next time.


4. Pumping while driving was too dangerous for me.
While super efficient, the thought of being pulled over attached to the pump, caused me to rethink pumping while driving. I was all hooked up and ready to go and just thought better of it. I know a lot of woman do this, but I bet they are better drivers.


5. People CAN hear the pump on the other end of a call.
Of course, they probably don't know what it is.


So...with that the countdown begins. And I am so ready to say my goodbye.

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